Rules for the West Coast Compound
by Persiana13
Summary: Pulsar and the other adults decide to institute new rules for the teen West Coast Avengers. Insanity Ensues! Set in L1701E's Misfit-verse.


**Rules for the West Coast Compound **

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Sunbow Entertainment. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. _

One Shot

Monica Rambeau, the African-American heroine Pulsar, was walking along the hallway with an expensive looking frame. Inside the frame contained a document written in elegant handwriting. The Louisiana-born heroine placed the frame on the wall and nodded,  
"There. All done."

She then continued walking down the hall. A few minutes later, Sam Wilson, the teen hero Falcon, and his partner Redwing, were walking by. Sam turned to the wall and saw the document,

"Huh, what's this?"

As he read further he was surprised,

"Rules? I think the others should hear about this."

With that, both the avian hero and his partner split off and gathered the rest of the team. A few minutes later, all the teen heroes were back, studying the document. Farrah Willows, the feline heroine Persiana, rolled her eyes,

"Oh, great. Rules to live by."

Carol Danvers, the teen powerhouse and Air Force brat Miss Marvel, smirked,

"Maybe they'll be something there on buying Farrah a new flea collar."

Farrah hissed,

"Careful, Barbie. This kitty likes to scratch!"  
Leon Maxwell, the red-eyed teen Crisis, shook his head,  
"Girls, this is neither the time nor the place."

Hercules, the teen god of strength, groaned,

"We never witness these fair maidens fight whilst he is around."

T'challa, the royal prince of Wakanada and hero Black Panther said,  
"Let's just go over the rules."

**Rule 1: Crisis has chosen to date Persiana. Everyone else must respect that decision. **

Farrah yelled skyward,

"Thank you, God! Someone has finally seen it!"

Carol was horrified,

"But, why? Why her?"  
Natasha Romanoff, the teen spy Black Widow, said simply,

"I think they make a cute couple. Like me and Hawkeye."

Crystal, the Inhuman teen princess, added,

"Or me and Pietro."

The two teens sighed happily. Falcon shook his head,

"I'm not going to touch that."

Leon shrugged,

"I think it's long overdue. Besides, I think Farrah and I balance each other out."

Carol looked at her teammate skeptically,

"And how is that exactly?"  
Farrah smirked,

"He gives me attention and affection when I want it. And all I do for him is be the little voice in his head telling him he's going to have his powers under control one day."

Carol stammered,

"But, but…what about when you get older? She won't be as fragile as…me?"

Leon blinked and noticed a sort of flirty look in her eyes as he shook his head,

"I'll worry about that later."  
Carol sulked.

**Rule 2: Watching Wonder Man and Vision get drunk is not fun. Stop recording their antics. **

Falcon said,

"It's fun. Do you know I'm working on a compilation disk of their antics right now? All I need is music to go along with it!"  
Leon rolled his eyes,  
"You mean you've been recording them when they got drunk off of martinis and thought they were super spies?"

The avian teen nodded,

"Yep, and the time they got drunk off of bourbon and dressed up in cowboy outfits, and the time they drank rum and acted like pirates."

Natasha shook her head,

"You have had way too much time on your hands with that."

Falcon asked,

"So, if they got drunk off of Italian wine, you'd think they'd act like the Mario brothers?"

Hercules said,

"Nay, opera singers, I think."

Leon placed his hands up, backing away,

"I'm not touching that one for my own health."

**3. Persiana, please confine your stretching exercises to either the playroom, your room, or outside. **

Farrah looked at the rule and grumbled,

"What the hell?"

Carol winced,

"Yeah, we don't need to see you lick yourself with company here."

Sam shrugged,

"It is hot, though."

Farrah whined,

"But, I can't help it. I mean, I'm a cat. Cats are pretty much nature's contortionists."

Crystal blinked,  
"I thought you practiced gymnastics."

The white-haired cat-girl shrugged,  
"I'm looking to expand my move set. I mean, it's not like I'm doing anything wrong. So what if I decide to use the sofa as a yoga mat. Leon doesn't complain."

Hercules snickered,  
"He probably thinks about all the things he will be able to do with you when you get older."

Leon swallowed nervously,

"Let's see the next rule before I get embarrassed any more than I already am."

**4. Crystal is banned from cooking. **

The blonde elementalle was stunned,

"What? Why?"

Black Panther tried to be diplomatic,  
"Crystal, your cooking skills are…still in need of improvement."

Farrah shrugged,  
"Basically, it sucks."

Crystal shook her head,  
"But, what about that saying 'practice makes perfect'?"

Falcon said,  
"That only applies when you are actually trying to be good at something, not actually trying to kill us."

The Inhuman princess folded her arms and grumbled,  
"But, how will I tell my Quicksilver I love him so much?"

Carol answered,  
"I think he already knows."

**5. Falcon, Moon Knight is not a ghost. He is a valued member of our team. **

The former gang member shook his head,

"But, the guy dresses in white and appears out of nowhere.'

His shoulder was tapped and he waved it off,

"Stop it, Herc."

Hercules shook his head,

"It is not I, friend."

Falcon then turned and saw Marc Spector, the Moon Knight, in costume. Sam jumped up and hit the ceiling, screaming,  
"Ghost!"

When he hit the ceiling, he fell down and lost consciousness. Moon Knight looked up,  
"Is this a bad time?"

Farrah looked at the unconscious Falcon and shrugged,  
"For him, probably."

**6. I want a nice clean house. Please keep the house orderly, and don't attribute any destruction to the fly. **

Leon said,  
"I figured that excuse was getting thin anyway."

Natasha added,  
"Besides, was it not Farrah and Carol that wrecked the house the last time?"

Carol grumbled,  
"The hairball started it. All I was doing was walking by Leon's room, and she flips out and attacks me!"

The white-haired acrobat snarled,

"You were scheming to take him from me again, weren't you?"

T'challa looked at Leon,  
"Are you not a little worried about Farrah and her territorial nature?"

The red-eyed teen nodded,  
"A little. I didn't even know she was there until the yelling started."

Farrah got defensive,

"I can't help it. I mean, with all the women that want my man, I have to be territorial. I mean, he's dating me, right?"

Leon sighed,  
"But, did you have to wreck the living room to do that?"

Hercules added,

"And the kitchen?"

Crystal added,

"And the hanger?"

Farrah got noticeably quiet at that and shook her head,  
"Let's go to the next rule."

**7. Stop trying to one-up the East Coast Avengers. We're on the same side. **

Leon shook his head,  
"That's not likely to stop. Especially with Thor and Hercules constantly trying to out-do each other."

Hercules flexed his muscles,  
"Why should I not? Thor is merely an inferior god. He is not immortal, like me!"

He then looked at Leon,

"And who are you to talk. You practically arranged for Tigra and Farrah to have a sleep over."

The swordsman was stunned,  
"What? Since when would I ever tell my girlfriend to get into that? I only pointed out the two of them acted like sisters."

Farrah smiled,  
"He's right. Greer and I are practically sisters. I'm just the cuter one."

Carol rolled her eyes, muttering something. Farrah whirled around and hissed,

"What did you say?"

Leon held her back,

"Farrah, no."

T'challa pointed out,  
"Well, it was amusing when Hawkeye and Falcon were running for their lives after that prank was pulled. Though, I don't think they intended to launch pink slime at the girls."

Natasha said,  
"I think they were trying to hit Gyrich and made a grave miscalculation."

Crystal winced,  
"I still have not gotten all of that out of my hair yet."

**8. Vision is a respected member of this team. Stop using him as a household gadget. **

Farrah whined,  
"You mean; I can't use him as a can opener anymore?"

Carol rolled her eyes,  
"Only you, hairball. Only you."

The feline teen glared at her arch-nemesis.

**9. No one eavesdrops on people's dates. **

Crystal winced,  
"I remember that when we spied on Hercules and Sersi."

Natasha shrugged,  
"If we had not been spying in the first place, Hercules would have a much harder time with Ares, and more people would have gotten hurt."

Leon added,  
"And if everyone stopped spying when I go out with Farrah, I think that would be just fine."

Hercules laughed,

"But it is fun, especially when we tell Carol."

Carol folded her arms,  
"I fail to see how going to the zoo qualifies as a date. I mean, it's only to show that thing belongs in a cage."

Farrah growled and flashed her claws and fangs, but Leon quickly defended her,  
"What? I had a good time. And Farrah did too."

**10. If there is to be any fighting, do so away from the building. This also means you two, Miss Marvel and Persiana. **

Farrah hissed,  
"That's right, Barbie. Stay away from my man, or I'll take you right here."

Carol rolled her eyes,

"I swear, the only reason you two are even with each other is pity, and when Leon sees that; he'll leave you."

Hercules joked,

"If he sees it."

The white-haired were-cat shouted,  
"THAT'S IT! DIE!"  
She tackled Miss Marvel, a cat-fight breaking out on the spot. Leon got in-between the two of them to break it up,

"Girls, stop-."

Too late, as a strike from each of them caused the red-eyed teen to become delirious before falling unconscious. Both of the girls were horrified and Farrah and Carol looked at each other, shouting,  
"Look what you made me do!"  
Needless to say, the cat-fighting resumed. Natasha looked at T'challa,

"Maybe we should get Sam and Leon out of here before something else happens."

The fight would last for several more hours, and in several more rooms…

End of One Shot


End file.
